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By Robert Bly
FORMAL TECHNICAL STYLE INFORMAL CONVERSATIONAL STYLE
The data provided by direct We can't tell what it is made of
examination of samples under by looking at it under the micro-
the lens of the microscope scope.
are insufficient for the pur-
pose of making a proper iden-
tification of the components
of the substance.
We have found during conver- Our customers tell us that exper-
sations with customers that ienced extruder specialists avoid
even the most experienced of extruding silicone profiles or
extruder specialists have a hoses.
tendency to avoid the extru-
sion of silicone profiles or
hoses.
The corporation terminated Joe was fired.
the employment of Mr. Joseph
Smith.
* Be concise--Technical professionals, especially those in industry,
are busy people. Make your writing less time-consuming for them to
read by telling the whole story in the fewest possible words.
How can you make your writing more concise? One way is to avoid re-
dundancies--a needless form of wordiness in which a modifier repeats
an idea already contained within the word being modified.
For example, a recent trade ad described a product as a "new inno-
vation." Could there be such a thing as an old innovation? The ad
also said the product was "very unique." Unique means "one of a
kind," so it is impossible for anything to be very unique.
By now, you probably get the picture. Some other redundancies
that have come up in technical literature are listed below, along
with the correct way to rewrite them:
REDUNDANCY REWRITE AS
advance plan plan
actual experience experience
two cubic feet in volume two cubic feet
cylindrical in shape cylindrical
uniformly homogeneous homogeneous
Many technical writers are fond of overblown expressions such as
"the fact that," "it is well known that," and "it is the purpose
of this writer to show that." These take up space but add little
to meaning or clarity.
The following list includes some of the wordy phrases that appear
frequently in technical literature. The column on the right offers
suggested substitute words:
WORDY PHRASE SUGGESTED SUBSTITUTE
during the course of during
in the form of as
in many cases often
in the event of if
exhibits the ability to can
* Be consistent--"A foolish consistency," wrote Ralph Waldo Emerson,
"is the hobgoblin of little minds." This may be so. But, on the
other hand, inconsistencies in technical writing will confuse your
readers and convince them that your scientific work and reasoning
are as sloppy and disorganized as your prose.
Good technical writers strive for consistency in the use of numbers,
hyphens, units of measure, punctuation, equations, grammar, symbols,
capitalization, technical terms and abbreviations.
For example, many writers are inconsistent in the use of hyphens.
The rule is: two words that form an adjective are hyphenated. Thus,
write: first-order reaction, fluidized-bed combustion, high-sulfur
coal, space-time continuum.
The U.S. Government Printing Office Style Manual (1), Strunk and
White's "The Elements of Style" (2), and your organization's writ-
ing manual can guide you in the basics of grammar, punctuation,
abbreviation and capitalization.
* Use jargon sparingly--Chemical engineering has a special language
all its own. Technical terms are a helpful shorthand when you're
communicating within the profession, but they may confuse readers
who do not have your special background.
Take the word "yield," for example. To a chemical engineer, yield
is a measure of how much product a reaction produces. But, to car
drivers, yield means slowing down (and stopping, if necessary) at
an intersection.
Other words that have special meaning to chemical engineers but
have a different definition in everyday use include: vacuum,
pressure, batch, bypass, recycle, concentration, mole, purge,
saturation, catalyst.
Use legitimate technical terms when they communicate your ideas
precisely, but avoid using jargon just because the words sound
impressive. Do not write that material is "gravimetrically con-
veyed" when it is simply dumped.
* Avoid big words--Technical writers sometimes prefer to use big,
important-sounding words instead of short, simple words. This is
a mistake; fancy language just frustrates the reader. Write in
plain, ordinary English and your readers will love you for it.
Here are a few big words that occur frequently in technical lit-
erature; the column on the right presents a shorter--and pref-
erable--substitution:
BIG WORD SUBSTITUTION
terminate end
utilize use
incombustible fireproof
substantiate prove
optimum best
* Prefer the specific to the general--Technical readers are inter-
ested in detailed technical information--facts, figures, conclus-
ions, recommendations. Do not be content to say something is good,
bad, fast or slow when you can say how good, how bad, how fast or
how slow. Be specific whenever possible.
GENERAL SPECIFIC
a tall spray dryer a 40-foot-tall spray dryer
plant oil refinery
unit evaporator
unfavorable weather conditions rain
structural degradation a leaky roof
high performance 95% efficiency
* Break the writing up into short sections--Long, unbroken blocks
of text are stumbling blocks that intimidate and bore readers.
Breaking your writing up into short sections and short paragraphs--
as in this article--makes it easier to read.
In the same way, short sentences are easier to grasp than long ones.
A good guide for keeping sentence length under control is to write
sentences that can be spoken aloud without losing your breath (do
not take a deep breath before doing this test).
* Use visuals--Drawings, graphs and other visuals can reinforce
your text. In fact, pictures often communicate better than words;
we remember 10% of what we read, but 30% of what we see.
Visuals can make your technical communications more effective.
The different types of visuals and what they can show are listed
below:
TYPE OF VISUAL THIS SHOWS...
Photograph or illustration ...what something looks like
Map ...how it is put together
Schematic diagram ...how it works or is organized
Graph ...how much there is (quantity);
how one thing varies as a funct-
ion of another
Pie chart ...proportions and percentages
Bar chart ...comparisons between quantities
Table ...a body of related data
Mass and energy balances ...what goes in and what comes out
* Use the active voice--In the active voice, action is expressed
directly: "John performed the experiment." In the passive voice,
the action is indirect: "The experiment was performed by John."
When possible, use the active voice. Your writing will be more
direct and vigorous; your sentences, more concise. As you can see
in the samples below, the passive voice seems puny and stiff by
comparison:
PASSIVE VOICE ACTIVE VOICE
Control of the bearing-oil Shutoff valves control the
supply is provided by the bearing-oil supply.
shutoff valves.
Leaking of the seals is O-rings keep the seals from
prevented by the use of from leaking.
O-rings.
Fuel-cost savings were The installation of thermal
realized through the in- insulation cut fuel costs.
stallation of thermal in-
sulation.
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