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By Jay Abraham
Find out whatever change has occurred in that customer's or client's circumstance. If it's an improvement, be happy for them. Congratulate them and celebrate with them. If it's a reversal or decline in circumstances, be empathetic. Commiserate with them, and, above all, genuinely care. Show deep, heartfelt emotional connection to them. This is the secret to great referrals. Care about them, not about yourself.
At the end of the conversation, ask them if you can ask a favor, if it's appropriate. Tell them that while they were an active customer or client, they were the kind of customer/client/patient you love to have. Nice, frequent, paid bills on time, you appreciated their value. Tell them, quite frankly, that you would love to have a hundred other customers just like them, then ask if they have friends, relatives, coworkers or neighbors who would enjoy, appreciate or benefit at the same high level they used to from your company's products, services or practice.
Tell them you'd be privileged and honored (we rarely use the concept of honoring a customer's patronage, but it is an honor to us) to accept and serve anyone they want to refer. This process is solid gold. Done correctly, and that means with sincerity and respect, it can produce enormous numbers of the highest-grade referrals imaginable.
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